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The Business Building Rockstars Show with Nicole Holland

AB1: What do you do when someone you believed in turns out to be a snake?

Jan 30, 2017

Today I'm doing a special bonus audio blog style episode because there's been so much I would love to share with you but by the time I actually get around to sitting down and writing, it's usually too late. So today that’s changing!

I know it might sound crazy but it's just the way it is in my world right now. Juggling a growing business, a podcast, and of course normal life, sometimes I feel like I don’t know which end is up and I've been thinking that if these things are coming up for me, they might be coming up for you too.

We're all in this together right?

As business builders it doesn't matter whether we're just starting out, if we're working our way up the hill, if we've reached a plateau, or whether we're on the other side of the summit... We all have things that come up that can challenge us in business or in just day-to-day life.

The other day one of my mentors, John Corcoran, accidentally sent out an email to tens-of-thousands of his subscribers from the wrong email address which resulted in a flood of messages to his inbox for him to manage. Stuff happens even to the most experienced and supported of us.

For me there's been a challenge that’s surfaced couple times recently and I’m not sure what it’s about but would like to share with you and even get your insights on if you care to share.

I’ll tell you about it here and if you’d like to share your thoughts about it you can do so at where there’s a blog post up for this episode.

I've been really surprised about this...

Over the past two years I've really worked hard at adding value to people's lives that I touch.

Whether it's a potential client, a potential colleague, a potential mentor, or a potential community member, listener, or follower, I strive to do good and overdeliver in the area of support and value.

And in that time I have learned so much about who to put time and energy into and who not to. Because when I started out I was far too naive about it.

You've probably had that experience too at some point, whether in business or in life, where you’ve believed in or trusted somebody that after a while you find yourself rethinking things.

I've been getting better and better about who to trust and what to trust them about, and who to be more cautious with. And I’ve certainly been improving with my judgement, however I still find myself surprise from time to time.

One of these surprises happened a few months ago where I realized that a person I had been supporting and promoting and advocating for was not the type of person I should be endorsing or that I felt good about endorsing.  

That realization came from witnessing some appalling behaviour and was extremely disappointing, but I felt like I had to suck it up and move forward with lesson learned.

Beyond that though, what became more frustrating was that they also owe me a significant amount of money -- still -- and that despite multiple messages asking about it they have refused to respond.

I feel like shouting from the rooftops sometimes so people learn how this person does business but have kept my mouth shut, for the most part.

I did, after questioning what to do for a while, confide in a couple business buddies who’d also supported this person and learned that they too had been stiffed and could not get a response.

It’s been about 5-months now so I can only assume I’ll never see my money and if anyone ever asks me about my experience with that person directly I can tell them but beyond that I’ve got to let it go. Right?

For the most part I have. Until I get triggered, like I did over the weekend, and my frustration bubbles up again.

I get PISSED when I find I’ve misjudged someone. I let my little gremlins run wild on me, at me, for not being more tuned in.

So here’s what happened this weekend that got my goat and frankly that I'm still a little bit in shock about.

For the past year-ish I’ve supported and advocated for and championed someone who seems to have developed some pretty shady business practices.

It's really shocking because I never saw it coming from this person.

And the thing is that I really do believe everybody has the right to run their own business the way they see fit. I'm not interested in judging what's right or wrong in general, but I have a really hard time when I feel almost like I've been duped.

If somebody wants to do shady shit, I generally just don't have anything to do with them, but when I think that someone’s on the up-and-up and I think they’re a good and respectable person  and business owner and then I find out the opposite to be true, it really gets to me.

So I'm not sure what my message is with this -- maybe it’s just a rant. But I thought that rather than keeping it all to myself, which I generally do, sharing this challenge I'm experiencing right now might be meaningful to you as well.

Maybe you have experienced something similar in the past or maybe you're going to in the future.

In any case I just thought that being more open with this personal business building and character building experience might be a benefit to you.

You know, on the show we talk about the challenges that my Rockstar guests have had to overcome, but we are generally talking about them in the past tense and sometimes I think that talking about them in the moment can be of value.

So here's what I want to know...

Have you been in a similar situation before and if so what did you do about it?

Are you in one now and if so where are you at with it?

Do you have any advice for me about how you would deal if you were in my shoes?

I would love to get your feedback and thoughts on this topic and the best way to do that is by commenting on this episode’s blog post at

Let's get a dialogue going about it!

I keep coming back to the fact that beyond everything else, it's really just mindset related but it is certainly something that’s taken a toll on mine over the past couple of nights.

And speaking of Mindset - the timing of this rant is actually right in line with a cool new Cheat Sheet that my friend Jeanna Gabellini just released called 11 Easy Mindset Hacks to Become a Client Magnet, and it’s great right now because while yes, of course I always want to attract more of my perfect clients and customers into my community -- don’t you? -- Jeanna has been my mindset guru since the beginning and getting this gorgeous reminder of what matters is awesome. Especially hack #1 about focusing on what’s going right.

If you’d like to get your own copy of Jeanna’s Mindset Hack Cheat Sheet for Becoming a Client Magnet, just visit to download your free copy now.

Once you register to get it you’ll also get access to Jeanna’s new video training series -- it’s free -- which I am loving so much! I mean, the content is great but it’s so fun seeing shots of her real life. Seriously, she’s such a rockstar and has the coolest kids!

Again, the link to grab Jeanna’s Cheat Sheet is

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Until next time,